21!

Incredible. I hit twenty-one years old. I am extremely proud of what I have become, I feel grown and matured and I made it with my head on straight. I've accomplished a lot for my age and I'm excited to see what else there is. So many more memories to be created, so many more questions and answers to arise. It's exciting. I'm not as scared as I had thought I'd be. Good.

The party was great for what I remember, but that's supposed to happen on your 21st, right? I just know I had a blast and I am never drinking that much liquor again. I spend my life with some amazing individuals and anyone that means anything to me was there.

I got my tattoo started on the 29th. It's something I'm not used to yet, I catch it in the mirror and I still get a little shocked. I love it, though. It really has a lot of meaning behind it and the song my lyrics are from really helped me keep my head high through all of the bullshit heartbreak I had to go through. And it's there forever to remind me to never let myself fall into a situation like that again.

On to... that;
I believe him forgetting my birthday and not even stopping by to wish me a good one was the tip of the iceberg. I don't want to get myself involved in his bullshit anymore. I put everything on the table and finally said my goodbyes. No more hidden intentions. No more wishful thinking. It's all out and finalized and done. Sealed shut. I guarantee that this isn't the last of him, that we'll talk again one day or run into each other, but I'm counting on it being very far away from now. There is no need for us to be 'friends' when there really is no friendship or reason for keeping me around.

That leads me to this;
I cannot find an attraction to anyone. I fucking hate you idiots that text me bullshit and I hate you idiots that ask me out on a date. Sometimes I think I like someone, but that dies quick. I'm back to post exex-boyfriend, pre ex-boyfriend. I'm tired of saying "next, next, next..." so quickly. I feel like I've already run out of cute boys cause I can't seem to enjoy any of their company for more than a week. I want to say "leave me alone", but I miss the affection of having a boyfriend. Especially with this wretched holiday valentines day coming around the corner. ugh, put a fucking bullet in my head.