i tried so fucking hard. fuck my last entry. he's never going to find a girl like me every again. he's not going to find a girl "mentally stimulating". he's plain crazy and it isn't worth my sanity! I would do anything for the boy I loved, but not if he doesn't love me back. When he doesn't love me, it's time to force the memories to die. All this time I wasted thinking we still had a chance;all the shit he told me. He's just like his friends and just like every other guy. No girl will give him the same feelings I did, and I'm excited for him to spend his life searching for it again. I'm also excited for when his friends fall in love, and he's still searching. I hope I'll have met somebody new by then, so I won't come running back. I've already blocked all communication from him except by telephone; however his number is deleted.. so enough of him not texting me will get his number out completely. Once I hit 21, I'm going to party more often and spend more nights drunk. Until then; I have to hold on to my dignity and keep this promise to myself: NO MORE.


Someone else will love me. He can keep pretending that i don't mean anything.