Jeff helped me realize, my main focus in life is finding success, and he asked why. I really thought about it and now I know. Everything comes with my success. I could take care of everyone I love, I could be artistic and expand my imagination, and I could inspire. Many more reasons too.

I've been happy all week but not really at the same time. It's hard to explain what I feel and think. I've stayed over with him the past 2 nights. I can't keep away from him. We are hanging out more, but not too much. Which is nice, but we aren't working towards a relationship again; which isn't so nice. He has such a complex mind that I cannot completely understand. I want to get into his head and figure out what is true and what is not, but I realize I can't. He doesn't talk much about his thoughts to me, and I know he likes it that way. I think he wants me to know nothing and to not have a plan. That scares me, because I'm afraid of the unknown. It's hard to believe he's only attracted physically to me.

I have the worst mind. I don't think I'll ever love anybody ever again, Jeff is the only one who I feel that special something with and he makes me happy. So, for now I'll just be happy. I know he's probably seeing other girls, and it makes me feel a little low that I've let myself become "the other girl", but whatever. It's also a little disappointing that I'm a secret. Not going to lie, it's a little sexy at the same time. In that i'm better kinda way.

Also heard I've been discussed in a not so nice way by some kids. It doesn't so much hurt me, but brings about insecurities I guess.