I've decided I'm going to life my life on my own. I'm not so afraid of dieing alone anymore. It's become an inevitability for me. Jeff is selfish, arrogant, mean, unthoughtful, insecure; I can't tell anyone why I love him, but I know he's always been perfect; somehow. He's done nothing for me in over a year, never even gave me a ear when I needed to talk or a helping hand when I needed help standing up, because it's always been about him. I can't explain why I'm head over heals. I'll always think he's the best. I'm dieing inside because I know this is the time when I really have to finish the job and let him go. I cannot cry every night, it's too difficult to put on a smile for everybody else the next day. I'll never meet somebody like him. I'll live my life alone. It can't be any worse than the feeling I already have. I already know this is going to be extremely difficult... to cut contact. I'm always the one trying to speak. I won't speak anymore. He gets what he wants. Himself.