i have to give up. it's hard when he can't understand how much he kills me inside. It drives me insane, I'm always at blame but I can't see it. I can't understand what I have to do to be a good girlfriend. The fact that I'm sad is what's ruining everything. I've been hysterical since 8:00pm, he was supposed to take me out, on a real date. I was so happy, so happy, when he said he wanted to do this for me. I don't know why I keep believing these things. Last night he hugged and kissed me, in public... and stayed with me most of the time. I thought things were getting better. I mean he did forget to take me out, but it's okay. Well.. it was. I don't know, or can't understand why it's so easy to kick me to the curb every night. Everyone in the house can hear me cry. It's so embarrassing. I just want to feel like I'm in a relationship again. I want to be happy. I'm so sad. I can barely breathe. I did my hair and make-up and sat around. I thought I looked pretty today, and i cried it all off. I can't do this. It hurts. I don't want to hate my life anymore. I don't want to feel like nobody anymore. I want to be important to somebody, him. But, right now.. it feels like anybody. I try so hard, and he doesn't see it. He doesn't care to think about me. He's so selfish. Oh God, it hurts.